I mentioned here, about a month ago, that I had been on a cruise down Mexico way. I also mentioned that I got a massage while on the ship. Before we parted ways, Jess, my professional and talented masseuse, had some advice for me. Among other things, she recommended that I take occasional baths in addition to showers.

She talked to me about releasing toxins, relieving stress, and rejuvenating my body, etc. Oh, and by the way, we have available these super-duper, magic, special seaweed sachets that are the best thing ever to put in your bath. The cost: only $189.00 for a box of 10. (I thought that was pretty steep pricing, but since have found out that the “super-duper” stuff I’ve found on-line is in that same pricey neighborhood.)

As good as a seaweed bath sounded, I told Jess I didn’t have room in my suitcase and that anyway, I had Dr. Teals Black Elderberry Epsom Salts at home. She wasn’t offended and was glad to hear that I already do take the occasional therapy bath.

A few years ago, on Christmas Day, in the afternoon, I took a bath. I officially called it my “Christmas Bath.”

At one point, my then 10-year old granddaughter knocked on my bathroom door; I think to determine if I was still alive. (Usually, when I take a bath there is a time commitment involved. I often take with me some, or all, of the following: phone, iPad, book, newspaper, crossword puzzle and 32 oz. drink) She later asked me why I took a Christmas bath.

I gathered my wits about me – what wits I have anyway, and I replied, “Well, Christmas comes only once a year, so if I want to have a Christmas bath, this really is the only day out of the 365 days in the year that I can take a proper Christmas bath.”

The 10 year-old looked at me like I was nuts. Her then 8-year old sister, wanting to take my side, piped up, “I agree with Grandpa.”

The fact of the matter was that I had a painful kink in my neck of some kind and I thought a soak in the tub might help. That’s often the “take a bath reason” for me – a kink in the neck, an achy hip, or knees that are killing me. I usually use bath salts and bubble bath of some kind.

The brand I often find and use is Dr. Teal’s. I did an Internet search on Dr. Teal. I wanted to find out who he or she was and how he or she came to be in the “bath business.” I was imagining that this person must be like the “Grand Poobah of Bathology.” Dr. Teal must have pioneered all the mysterious secrets of relieving aches and pains with magic formulas of minerals, oils and fragrances.

Long story short – I couldn’t find one single sliver of evidence that Dr. Teal is or was a real person. I think that the people at Dr. Teal’s company just dreamed up a name to use.

Strangely, and with impeccable pseudo-logic, my mind led me down this thread of thought: Teal is a type of duck. Dr. Teal is a duck. A duck quacks. Dr. Teal equals Dr. Quack. “Dr. Quack” is slang that refers to a fake doctor. Conclusion: I spend money on “snake oil” which will just make me smell like flowers at best.

But, here’s the weird part. I feel like therapy baths help me. It might be all in my head (rather than my neck), but I do feel like the hour or so in the bathtub improves my conditions.

So, I try to continue to takes soaks in the tub. I don’t care whether webmd.com can give reports on the validity of Epsom salt baths or not. (They can’t) To me, there’s just something undeniably relaxing about time in the tub.

Cold nights are a great time for bathing. It can be a terrific way to warm up after being out walking the dog during frigid, dark nights.

Most of us these days don’t have the time or patience for a bath. We hop into the shower. We shampoo, soap, rinse and – we’re done. It’s about speed and efficiency.

I have some history with bathing. I grew up in a culture of taking baths. But it was a different culture than I live now.

We had just one bathroom in the main house and it didn’t have a shower – just a bathtub. There was a shower and toilet out in the garage. I was taught that it was wasteful and expensive to fill up the tub very high with water. My mom prided herself on shallow and quick baths.

In my travels after leaving home, my bath culture horizons expanded. You’ll remember that I was in Norway in the early seventies. There on my church mission, there were times when we lived in places with no access to showers or bathtubs. We went to public bathhouses. Tubs there were filled high with steaming hot water.

These places were great, other than we had to be on guard because the employees were all matronly women. Those Scandinavian women, at the time, and I suppose now, weren’t always known for worrying about respecting privacy all that much in those circumstances.

A few years later, I got a new perspective on the history of bathing when I visited Bath, England. Imagine that, a city actually named after bathing. The hot springs there evidently attracted the Romans. Around AD 70, they built an architecturally beautiful bathing complex. The Roman Baths are well preserved and a museum now.

Jess’ after cruise massage advice, has motivated me to add on an additional New Year’s resolution for 2023. I resolve that I’ll take a bath on average of at least one bath per month this year. I think I can handle that resolution. Anyone else want to jump in with me on this one? Well… you know? – With me… separately. — Merrill

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