This is my last chance to warn you Sanpete. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Yep, Tuesday of next week is the day. If you haven’t remembered to plan something a little special for someone special in your life, it may be time to “put on the thinking cap.”

That “something a little special” might just be a homemade card with a sincere sentiment, together with a candy bar. I suggest that you don’t forget the candy bar. If the homemade card bombs, the candy bar will help make up for it.

If you can swing it, you could arrange to get dinner and see a movie. That’s always fun – even if it’s a cheeseburger and then a movie on TV. Going to the theater and seeing something on the big screen demonstrates more “specialness” though, perhaps.

We saw the Whitney Houston story movie (“I Wanna Dance With Somebody”) at the old Towne Theatre in Ephraim a couple of weeks ago. We liked it.

That theater has been closed for a while. They’ve spruced up the place nicely. It’s a great, historic show house. I really like that theater. But if it’s an extra cold night, take your lap blanket in with you.

I don’t think that movie outing we had was close enough to Valentine’s Day to count as our Valentine’s “date.” We did go to Walmart after the show and dropped $75. That should count for something. I don’t really remember what we bought, but it must have been something good.

I was in a friend’s office this time of year a few years back. We had a memorable discussion about Valentine’s Day.

This guy is a mature, native Sanpeter. By mature, I mean that he’s old enough to qualify for every senior discount known to man. I only mention that to let you know that this guy has been around a while and witnessed how time has changed society, and not all for the good in his view.

I looked at the calendar on the wall in his office. Not meaning to provoke the normally mild-mannered guy, I casually remarked, “It looks like Valentine’s Day is sneaking up on us.”

He straightened up in his chair, gave me a look of “now you’ve crossed the line,” and commenced to give me a little sermon on the absurdity of Valentine’s Day.

“They’ve taken a little kid, novelty holiday and turned it into a big deal where everyone is expected to give presents to each other. It’s another way they are trying to make money off of us,” he passionately complained.

I’m not sure who the “they” is that he blames. My theory is that he was referring to the possible unholy alliance of Hallmark Cards, the Shane Jewelry Co., Sees Candy, Victoria’s Secret, FTD Florists, and Girl Scout Cookies. (I don’t really think the Girl Scouts are in on this particular conspiracy, but the addictiveness of the Samoa cookies makes me wonder.)

Anyway, I calmed my friend down by agreeing that civilization and society has spiraled downward in recent years into a soul-less, selfish, money-grabbing, value-less, stench pot of a place. He took deeper breaths, and nodded to acknowledge that I was on the right side of this issue.

I then said, “I hope you enjoy my Valentine’s present to you this year” and “I can’t wait to see what you’re giving me for Valentine’s Day!”

I’ve noticed that gifts, which are given on Valentine’s Day, have gone beyond cards, flowers and chocolate. For example, naming a star for a loved one has become “a thing.” There are several places that sell these naming rights.

There are standard stars, extra bright starts, constellation stars, and binary stars available for starters. A twin, binary star is especially appropriate for a couple to share together. Prices vary — a lot. But plan on close to 100 bucks for a top-of-the-line star.

I wanted to see what the International Astronomical Union, the recognized authority for naming celestial bodies, had to say about all of this. They don’t sell naming rights to any astronomical features, including stars. With millions of stars out there, they just designate stars by catalog number and coordinates.

They say that companies who sell naming rights to stars can provide you with “an expensive piece of paper and a temporary feeling of happiness.” I guess that maybe an official-looking certificate and a good, happy feeling for a while isn’t all bad.

But, rather than naming a star, I’m thinking that I’d rather have the naming rights to a big ol’ ribeye steak on my dinner plate for Valentine’s Day. But that’s just me.

I see that there is kind of an “Anti-Valentine” phenomenon going on in recent years for Valentine’s Day. It’s kind of in the same category as naming a star, except in this case; it’s naming a cockroach after your “Ex.”

More than one zoo has picked up on this Valentine’s vengeance idea. The El Paso, Texas zoo evidently does a “Name a Roach” (“Quit Bugging Me”) Valentine’s Day promotion.

The named roaches are supposedly fed to animals on Valentine’s Day. Meerkats and other animals will be dining on the specially named bugs. I think they do a live stream of the eating of the roaches. Names of the bugs will be posted online. Okayyy.

I guess I’m old-fashioned. I’m hoping for dinner and a movie for Valentine’s Day. We did do dinner and a hockey game for Valentine’s Day years ago. That’s when the Olympics were going on in Salt Lake. Nothing says love like time at the hockey rink.

I think we should remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t just a day solely for couples that consider themselves romantically, bonded lovers and soul mates. I believe that it’s a good time for friends and family to remember their love and devotion one for another.

Let people in your life know that you love them on Valentine’s Day. Give them a little kid Valentine that reads, “Be Mine.” And additionally — don’t forget the candy bar. Enjoy the day! — Merrill

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