I had a visit with a young man who was a student at Snow College a while back. He wanted some advice from me on some aspects of his life. I know. It’s scary — me giving advice.

But what is advice anyway? Unless an “advisor” is quoting chapter and verse from a law book or scriptures — advice is just somebody’s opinion. And, hey — I’ve got some opinions. So I suppose I’m qualified.

In response to something that my “advisee” said about some difficult people in his life, I replied, “Well, you know what they say. You’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar.”

He cocked his head and looked at me as if I’d suddenly slipped into speaking a foreign language with him. I paused and thought back. Had I suddenly slipped into Norwegian? I do still speak some of that language. But, no, everything I’d said was all in plain English. Or so I thought.

I asked if he understood what I’d said. He shook his head. His head shake wasn’t just a “no” — it was a “heck no!”

I proceeded to explain what the honey/vinegar/flies metaphor meant in the context of our conversation. I told him that when dealing with people, kindness and diplomacy (honey) are apt to be more effective in achieving results (catching flies) than anger and mean-spiritedness (vinegar).

He understood. He agreed that perhaps even though it would be difficult, he should probably try a nicer approach to dealing with some people in his life.

I believe that I grew up with a lot of metaphorical advice and admonitions in my family. Metaphors, idioms, fables, figures of speech and all those kinds of language variations were part of everyday living. A chastisement from one of my parents might have gone something like this:

“Merrill, it’s late. Turn off the TV and go get your chores done. Those cows are probably hurting. They need milking.”

“All right, I’ll go right after ‘Superman’ is over.”

“Superman Schnuperman. You need to step up and hit the ball and learn which side your bread is buttered on. You can’t be a dog in the manger or a fly in the ointment. The cream rises to the top and you better look before you leap. If you count your chickens before they hatch you’ll be holding the short end of the stick and you’ll have more trouble than you can shake a stick at. Understand?”

“Okay, I get it. I’ll do my chores as soon as ‘Superman’ is over.”

I could be wrong, but I think that the sayings and idioms of my youth are fading and becoming lost. I understand that language is always changing. Words come and go. Even I don’t say “groovy” very often any more. But I think the word “cool” will always be cool.

If I had kids at home now and if we had cows to milk and if my son were watching umm – whatever kids watch now – this is how the conversation might go if I wanted to connect with my kid.

“Hey Dude – have you done your chores?”

“Umm, – I’ll get to them as soon as this educational show finishes.”

“Yanno Mister – I know that show is so dope, but you’ve got to man up to your fam responsibilities – Hashtag CowsUddersAreReadyToBurst.”

“Hashtag I’llGetToItDad”

“I know you feel that chores are bunk and put you on a grind. I really don’t want to chirp you when you’re so mad chillin’.”

“Okay Dad, No Prob – I’ll get right on it… as soon as the show’s over.”

It seems like I had a lot of conversations about getting my chores done with my parents – especially my mom. She always wanted me to “hit the ball.” And so, predictably, I guess – I want people I advise to “hit the ball” and “catch flies with honey.” And as for me personally? — I’m still learning which side my bread is buttered on. — Merrill

Newsletter