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Remembering mothers

By Staff | May 10, 2023

Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday. Are you ready? I have started my preparations. I’m in the “think preparation” mode for Mother’s Day.

Remember the “think method” of learning to play a musical instrument in the movie “The Music Man?” I’m thinking that I’ll be getting my wife a card for one thing.

I haven’t bought one yet. I think I have one tucked away somewhere. There are some funny cards out there that kids can give moms. One, on the front, reads, “To My Mother, Who is a Saint.” On the inside, is printed, “From your Kid, Who Ain’t”

Another card that is memorable: “A Mother’s Intuition is always right…” Then the inside of the card says, “Unless you were feeling like you were getting more than a card for Mother’s Day”

This sentiment is great too. “No matter what life throws at you: At least you don’t have ugly children. Happy Mother’s Day!”

It does take some thought to prepare for this special day. Of course, your need for preparation is determined by what your status is in relationship to mothers.

Some people have mothers to remember in more than one situation or generation. Some men have living mothers, a wife who is a mother, a mother-in-law, and daughters who are mothers as well. That’s a lot of moms.

My own status at this point is being the grown-up (some will dispute that) son of a deceased mother and husband of the mother of my children. I also have a daughter who is a mother. Of course we all have friends and other relatives who are mothers. Some of us have special relationships with women who we consider to be “mothers” to us even though there’s no official family connection.

I believe that everyone has someone to remember on Mother’s Day. We obviously all got here by way of a mother. There may be a few who don’t have personal recollections of a mother because of circumstances of death or separation for one reason or another. But this Sunday, for the most part, I believe we all can honor mothers regardless of our circumstances, in some way.

I lost my mother years ago in 1995. I have been thinking that I should be doing more to honor her memory. I should keep her life familiar with my children, and with me for that matter. The years go by and events, words and deeds tend to fade in memory. It’s like remembering the pages and chapters of a book read long ago.

Fortunately, in remembering my mom, I have some pictures, videos, and written remembrances otherwise that make for a “book” that can be “re-read.” It’s important to compile information on our families so as to provide our children with an understanding of their origins. It creates a connection that becomes important at some point in most people’s lives.

There are still memories of my mother which I should write down. It’s too easy to put off these things. Forgive me, but in the spirit of “there’s no time like the present,” I’m going to end my procrastination right now.

My mother, Florence Ogden, lived to be 80 years old. She spent the last few months of her life in the care center in Mayfield in the final stages of Alzheimer’s disease. (The “long goodbye” as they call it.)

She was a gentle soul and a terrific mom. She was from Downey, Idaho. Mom met dad at a dance at Utah State University. She graduated as a home economics teacher and insisted that she teach one year before getting married. Dad went along with this ambition she had. (What choice did he have?)

She got a teaching position in Snowflake, Arizona and completed her goal. She and dad were married in 1938 and got jobs in Alaska where they started their family and spent several years.

As I think of mom, I remember several repetitious admonitions that she had for me as a kid. I’ll share a couple of them.

The first one is appropriate right now as it is baseball related. She would often say, “Come on Merrill, you’ve got to hit the ball.” This command was used metaphorically in every situation imaginable ranging from getting my farm chores done to doing school homework to – well, everything.

Everything that is, except baseball. Ironic, isn’t it? I don’t ever remember her saying “hit the ball” when I was a kid at a baseball game.

The other thing mom told me that I want to mention here is, “You’re just as good as anybody else.” Kids need to learn that concept. Embodied in that notion is the good old American “all men are created equal” philosophy.

Don’t let anyone put you down and remember not to put anyone else down either. Moms are the best teachers kids will ever have. Their influence is immeasurable and indelible.

At times I have teased my wife that “she’s not my mother” so she shouldn’t expect me to do anything for her on Mother’s Day. That’s a convenient approach – but it’s a rotten approach.

A wife, as mother of a man’s children, deserves tribute. Beyond that, fathers have a terrific opportunity in assisting their children to remember their mother on Mother’s Day. You can’t gauge the good memories that can be created.

It doesn’t take much. It just takes “doing something.” A hug, a kiss, a homemade card and a bouquet of dandelions can be a treasured memory. Sometimes kids will do that sort of thing on their own when reminded of the upcoming day. Other kids may want to be more extravagant with gifts, and may need help.

Most moms will be happy regardless of gifts received. Motherhood alone seems to be its own reward. What a gift it is from God – Motherhood! And no one knows it better than the mothers themselves. — Merrill

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