In church last Sunday, I was in a class with the men of the congregation. Our discussion centered on the concept of “poise.” Just so your mind stays on track here, don’t think of any product made for bladder control problems. That product named “Poise” is a sister company to the well-know “Depend” company.

That fact reminds me of the old guy who was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. And the answer was: “Depends.”

Did I say don’t think of any of those types of products? If you kept reading, how could you not help but think of them, right?

Anyway, the church lesson was on “Christlike Poise” based on a talk given by a church leader named Mark A. Bragg. He mentioned in his talk that his dad, Donald Bragg, was an All-America basketball player at UCLA. His coach was the famous John Wooden whose teams won 10 national championships.

Coach Wooden and his wife stayed close to the Braggs and would sometimes visit for dinner. When the young Mark Bragg was a senior in high school, Coach Wooden, knowing that religion was important in the household, had some advice for him. “With that faith, be sure to have poise in every situation. Be a good man in a storm.”

One of the long-time Sanpete guys in the church class mentioned that Sanpete’s legendary basketball and tennis coach, Wilbur Braithwaite (1926 – 2010), was a devotee of Coach Wooden. They were pen pals.

Coach Braithwaite taught poise under pressure and insisted on the highest level of sportsmanship. At Manti High School, he coached 11 state tennis championship teams and one basketball state title. He had zero technical fouls in 37 years as a basketball coach and is in “halls of fame” on both the national and state levels. (look him up on the internet for more information)

I knew Wilbur and he had poise. Jane, his widowed wife, is in her 90s and I visit with her quite often. She has poise.

I believe that a lot of how poise is defined is connected with the phrase “situational and social awareness.” Manners has a lot to do with it.

Poise is also aligned with “The Golden Rule.” If we’re treating others the way we’d like to be treated, we are showing poise, to my way of thinking.

I thought of situational awareness and brought it up in the church class. I mentioned that some people just don’t seem to be aware of their surroundings. What they do and say and assume seems to be wacky at times. I must have sounded a bit passionate. One guy said, “I guess we now know what your column topic will be this week.” I guess he was right.

Saturday evening, we were at the BYU vs. Texas Tech football game in Provo. It was jam packed. And “hooray” – it was a Cougar win. (Congrats to the Utes as well – and condolences to the Aggies)

It seems like every time we go somewhere that’s crowded, there’s always a group of two or three or more people who think it’s a good idea to have a pow-wow right in the middle of a portal or walk-way where hundreds of people are traveling back and forth. (This happens at Walmart too)

I wanted to say to one group, “Hey, let me teach you a really helpful strategy for having a “group meeting” here. Take your carcasses over there by that wall! Then you won’t be bothered by the rest of us annoying people trying to walk through you right here.”

There’s so many examples of what people do that exhibit poor situational awareness. Don’t get me started on issues related to driving.

Sometimes poise and social awareness are related to what we say. At times, we don’t think before we say things. Here’s a famous fictitious example: “Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s to never assume a woman is pregnant. Don’t say anything about that subject, unless and until you’ve confirmed said possible pregnancy with a known and trusted source.

My oldest son told me within the past week or so, “Dad, sometimes I just say things and then think, oops – did I just say that?”

He recently got married. His wife has told me that she likes that he says what’s on his mind. “You know where you stand with him,” she said.

The flip-side is that some of us try so hard to be diplomatic that people don’t understand what we’re trying to say.

Well, this has been a short treatment and a plea for us all to have more poise, social awareness and situational awareness. Be aware. The world needs more ‘wares. — Merrill

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