Have you got “Olympic Fever?” Me neither. Well, maybe I’m a little fever’ish. My temperature might be rising gradually. But it’s hard to tell with Sanpete feeling like Death Valley recently.

We were up at the Sandy Amphitheater last Thursday night for a concert. It was a hot weather evening there. We baked like rotisserie chickens as we listened to the “warm (literally) up” band. “Hoorah for the Riff Raff” was the name of the band that opened for Norah Jones. I assumed that we were the riff raff.

By the time Norah took the stage, the sun was down, and we were still feeling like baked chickens — but on a cooling rack. It was comfortable. It was a great show. If you want your music mellow, dreamy and calm, Norah’s your girl.

There were two couples sitting to my left at the concert. We chatted before the show started. They were from Park City. None of them knew where Sanpete County was or any of the towns of Sanpete. I thought that was odd until I found out that they were from New York and Baltimore originally.

Talking with the guys, I learned that one is a lawyer for an East Coast firm, and the other spends his “work time” in his basement on the phone. Doing what? – He didn’t say and I didn’t ask. I’ve let my imagination run wild. You have my permission to do the same.

Now, I’ve found my way (finally) to the point of this story. These people are excited about the Olympics. They have Olympic Fever! And, they are particularly excited about the announcement that Utah will again be hosting the Winter Games in 2034. They are also pumped about Utah getting a professional hockey team.

So, just because I’m not burning up with the fever, it doesn’t mean that others aren’t. It is fun that the Summer Olympics are here again. Paris has been putting on quite a show.

I saw part of the opening ceremonies with the athletes on the boats in the river. That was pretty cool. I saw Lady Gaga sing and dance. That was pretty cool. I didn’t see the controversial part with “drag queens” in what some said looked like a weird recreation of The Last Supper.” That’s not pretty cool from my point of view. I guess someone wanted to push boundaries. Evidently, they were successful.

These games in Paris are officially the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad. (If you don’t speak Roman numeral, that would be the 33rd Olympics.)

So, what is an Olympiad? As it turns out, unsurprisingly, the ancient Greeks are the ones who invented the four-year interval system for having this sporting hubbub. This was started hundreds of years before Jesus walked the earth. (776 BC)

An Olympiad is a four-year period associated with “the Games.” The modern Olympics got started in 1896. So, we’re in the 33rd four-year period since then.

I’ve been remembering a day-dreamy idea I had once during previous Olympics. It’s in the realm of probability of zero’ish of happening. See what you think.

Now that Utah has nailed down the Winter Games again. We need to think about Sanpete as a natural place for hosting a version of the Summer Games. The Central Utah Correctional Facility would be perfect for the Olympic Village. It’s secure and already well staffed.

To empty the place out to make room for the athletes, we could just hand out $5,000 to each inmate and turn them loose. We would have them promise that they’d report back in a month. Some of the money given out would be plowed back into the local economy in the form of the purchase of used cars and gasoline.

The inmates who aren’t true to their promise to return would… well – we just wouldn’t worry about them. Given the trend of prisons being a “growth industry,” the facility’s beds would fill up again in no time.

Wouldn’t it be fun to go to the Snow College Stadium and the local high school athletic fields to watch Olympic track and field events? We don’t need gigantic venues with thousands of butts in seats to be successful. The big money is in the television broadcasts.

The same goes for the swimming pool competitions. Really, how many spectator seats do we need for water polo at the Activities Center at the college?

But wait, there’s more. For our version of the Games, I’m thinking of a major twist that might be worth considering. Let me set this idea up for you.

The phenomenal cost and amount of practice and training for the athletes is unbelievable. It’s amazing to see the intricate and precise routines that the gymnasts display and the skills that the other athletes present.

When a mistake is made, it’s heartbreaking. If there hadn’t been so much preparation, those mistakes wouldn’t be so tragic.

What I have thought about is the idea that participation in the Olympics should be like jury duty. Under this scenario, average people from each country would, by luck of the draw, be entered into the Olympics.

How tough would it be to let some guys and girls “off the street” hop onto a horse and lope around a jumping course? Cycling? — “Here’s your bike, follow that motorcycle and let’s see how you do.” Basketball? — Self-Explanatory. Badminton and table tennis? — Need I say more?

I admit that gymnastic events like “floor exercise” and “balance beam” – and OK — “bars” and “vault,” etc. would have an entirely different look with less trained (a lot less trained) participants. However, I believe that the “entertainment factor” would still be there.

Consider that many viewers, usually the unsophisticated ones, like me, are watching and waiting for the occasional booboo or inevitable embarrassing fall. In a remotely, strange way, for some, it’s a lot like watching a NASCAR race.

So, therefore, with pure, untrained amateurs performing gymnastics, for example, there would constantly be falls and crashes.

If Sanpete were to win a bid to host the Olympics, I would be in favor of bringing back some of the sports which have been discontinued over the years. Isn’t it time to bring back croquet, tug-of-war, rope climbing and “plunge for distance?”

Well, I think you get the idea. We just might have to start thinking outside the Olympic box of yesteryear. There are ideas and new twists that might be ripe for the picking. Watch your mailbox. Someday, you may become an Olympian, without even trying. — Merrill