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Inside Sanpete: Memorializing

By Merrill Ogden - | May 28, 2025

Merrill Ogden

This coming weekend is Memorial Day which semi-officially opens the summer season. It’s often the weekend when people get their boats out on the water for the first time of the season. Many go camping for the first time of the year. Most schools around here are out for the summer by Memorial Day and swimming pools open up.

It’s also traditionally the weekend that we notice that gas prices take a big jump just in time for the first long road trip of the season. “Big Oil” has such a heart for us as summer travelers, don’t they? Yeah – a big, black, cold, hard heart. I guess if I’d buy some stock in Exxon-Mobil, I’d feel better about it.

Memorial Day, believe it or not, is also the time when we should be remembering those who have passed on. A sizable portion of the population has forgotten this aspect, I think.

The special day was created originally in 1868 for the purpose of honoring our nation’s war dead after the Civil War. Later the purpose expanded to include all those who died serving in any of our wars. By extension, we now honor all of our loved ones who have died.

It’s a time to decorate the graves of our family and friends and remember them. Sanpete’s cemeteries will be filled with beautiful flowers this weekend. Family and friends will run into each other around the family cemetery plots and reminisce about the people whose names are on the headstones.

I grew up in a family where we went to the cemetery fairly often and always on Memorial Day. Graveyards have never really been creepy to me.

The concept of death usually isn’t creepy to me either. But I like to say that I agree with Woody Allen who said, “I have nothing against death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

I’ve been reading death notices in newspapers for many years now. I don’t remember when I started reading them, but at some point in time; I began feeling like they made for interesting reading.

Many of the short summaries of people’s lives have fascinating tidbits that are even humorous at times. My wife and I will sometimes read bits and pieces of the “obits” to each other – regardless of whether we know the deceased or not.

One of my favorite obituaries was for a man who was seven years older than me. He was a golfer and I learned that he died exactly one week after getting his first hole in one. I loved what was quoted as his motto: “You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.”

In lieu of flowers, the family suggested that donations be made to the Huntsman Cancer Institute. I think some people will always give flowers regardless of the “in lieu of flowers” requests. And that’s all right. But it is interesting to see what some of those requests are.

One death notice I remember read: “In lieu of flowers, go do something fun with your children.” Unless I interpreted incorrectly, that obituary was for a young man who took his own life.

Another request I read in the obit of a University of Utah professor stated, “he asked that his friends not contribute to a charity in his name but rather; take a friend to lunch, or for a walk or discuss a book.”

Some people write their own obituary. I have a brother who has had to update his obituary multiple times. A memorable self-written obituary was done by a medical doctor.

Interestingly, he didn’t put the designation “Dr.” in front of his name, even though he was highly renowned and received many awards. He said of himself, “School came easily and he was valedictorian of his Box Elder High class in 1949. … He played on the worst basketball team in Box Elder’s history.” He said if anyone wanted to remember him with a donation, they should donate to the charity of their choice.

I’ve thought a few times that perhaps I should write a preliminary draft of my own obituary. I think I’ll keep thinking about it for a while. I’m hoping that if I do write it, I’ll have to update it quite a few times.

Enjoy your Memorial Day. Have some fun. But amidst the fun, do some “memorializing” of your friends and family who are no longer with you.

In fact, if you aren’t aware of the National Moment of Remembrance; let me be the one to let you know. Congress established this “moment” which asks Americans to pause, wherever they are at 3 p.m., local time, on Memorial Day.

It is an act of national unity for the duration of one minute. It’s meant to be a demonstration of gratitude and respect for those who died for freedomsince the founding of our nation.

Bells can be rung. Silence can be observed. Prayers can be said. The observation of “the moment” can be done in whatever way you choose. I think it’s a great idea which requires no more than “remembering.”

— Merrill

P.S. Don’t forget Scandinavian Days in Ephraim this weekend and Spring City Heritage Day. Lots of food and fun in both cities.

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