Back in the olden days, when I was a kid, we had a few 78 rpm record sets with picture books. (Just by way of explanation for any younger readers, a record is one of those flat round things, usually black, which spun around on a “record player.” They made music or produced sound otherwise. Your parents or grandparents may still have a record player and records.)

These story records we had were played over and over again. We loved to turn the pages in the associated picture books at the designated sounds on the records.

One favorite story was “The Grasshopper and the Ants.” It was a jazzed up version of the famous Aesop fable. I think you’ll remember the story.

The ants were busy at work all summer long and stored away provisions for the winter. The grasshopper fiddled, sang and played all summer. Not only that, but he made fun of the ants and laughed at their “foolishness.”

Of course, the cold winds and blizzards of winter eventually came. The ants were warm, well prepared, and actually partying in their comfortable winter quarters. The grasshopper, freezing to death, knocked on their door begging forgiveness and mercy.

After weighing his fate in the balance, the queen of the ants decided to save the grasshopper. She let him in, on the condition that he earn his keep by singing and playing his fiddle for their winter celebrations.

The story had a happy ending and a moral was taught. The lesson to be learned was to be prepared. And the additional lesson: if you’re a dumb, irresponsible guy, just hope that you can find a smart, responsible female to have mercy on you.

I know many families who have been busy during the late summer and fall storing away fruits and vegetables for the long winter. Some of my relatives did a lot of bottling of peaches and grape juice this year. Some set up operations outdoors and processed a big supply of corn which ended up in bags in their freezers.

I don’t remember my wife doing any home food preservation this year. (She’ll correct me, if I’m wrong) We didn’t plant a garden. I decided to tell people a version of what my dad used to say later in his life — which was, “my garden is the produce department at Albertson’s Store.”

We still have bottled food in the “fruit room” in our basement from previous years. My favorite is canned peaches. (Isn’t it weird that we say we’re canning peaches, or whatever, when we’re putting them in bottles? I guess it’s kind of interchangeable.)

On at least one occasion, when Diane was canning peaches, I hurried and put on an apron. This was so that the neighbors would think that I’d been helping with the canning project. They had been invited over for a piece of peach pie that my wife had made while bottling.

She’s a great multi-tasker. She’s a good little “ant” and takes mercy on me, “the grasshopper,” all the time.

I’ve been thinking about what we have in the way of food storage in our basement. I poke around down there every once in a while. I pull a few of the big cans off the shelves and look at the dates on them. I wince a little and then put them back.

Some of the stuff we have was purchased on the day the first Gulf War started (more than 35 years ago). I think I’d be scared to open some of those cans.

I’d have to be brave to attempt eating any of the army “MREs” (Meals Ready to Eat) that are in our food storage. I ate a couple of those when they were fresh and I was hungry. They were, well, umm – edible, kind of. I’m hoping that they’re like proverbial wine and cheese and get better with age. (Yeah, right.)

I have a friend who likes to believe that if conditions get so bad that we have to use our food storage, that God will bless it and make it good for us. I would like to believe that too, but I have my doubts.

I also know people who believe that expiration dates on food items are sacred. Once that date arrives – bang! – the food magically goes from good to worthless. It just shows that people believe from one end of the spectrum to the other.

My wife has a belief relative to the commercially prepared food storage stuff. It is basically summed up in two concepts.

No. 1 — I will be a good “preparer” and store this “junk” away.

No. 2 — I will hope and fervently pray that I never ever have to open any of those cans or packages of what people dare to call “food.”

Years ago, when the kids were still at home, I opened up a can of powdered milk and mixed some up. I invited the family to try it with me. My son put some on his Froot Loops. He figured he’d never taste the milk anyway. Everyone else turned down the offer of “yummy instant milk.”

That milk would have sat in the refrigerator until the cows came home (to use an ironic figure of speech), had I not finished it off.

I know there are lots of people in Sanpete who are experts in family preparedness. I’m not one of them.

In thinking about this topic more and more the past while, I’m deciding that I should do what I’ve heard preached over and over again. “Store what you eat and eat what you store. Rotate and replenish.”

For my household that would mean more rotated Froot Loops and Cocoa Puffs and fewer cans of banana chips and dried papaya slices. We may need to find a higher grade of powdered milk too.

So, if you happen to be a “grasshopper” and need somewhere to party this winter, come to my house. We’ll put a Beatles record on the turntable, break out a bottle of peaches, open a box of Froot Loops, mix up the milk and have a feast.

— Merrill