I was familiar with quite a few of the words, but there were many which were new to me — including sobremesa. I learned how to pronounce the word. Soh: like “so” in “sofa”; Bre: like in “bread”; Meh: is the stressed syllable, like the “meh” in “measure”; Sah: like the “sa” in “salsa” — so-bre-me-sa.

So now, you might be asking, “What the heck does that word mean Merrill?!” Well, OK, OK — here’s the definition I’ve put together from various sources:

Sobremesa: a borrowed word from Spanish meaning the traditional lingering time of relaxing, chatting, socializing, etc. at the table following a meal; having conversation and enjoying company long after the food is finished; feeling no rush to clear dishes or leave the table.

Now you know what I’m talking about. Apparently there is no single English word that really covers this concept adequately. That’s the beauty of borrowing words from other languages.

My thoughts run to the word schadenfreude. That’s a borrowed word from German which means taking pleasure or satisfaction in the misfortune of others. It literally translates to “harm-joy.” Sobremesa in Spanish literally translates to “upon the table.”

It was a flash of serendipity (another word on the list — meaning finding something good by chance) that I learned the new word we’re talking about. That’s because I just recently experienced a prime example of sobremesa.

Long story short, last Thursday night, we found ourselves in a group of 10 people around a table in the back room at Denny’s in Salina. On very short notice, we all networked and responded to phone calls.

My direct relatives of a brother, sister, niece, and cousin were all game for the dinner idea. We picked up my cousin and her husband from their camp at Palisade. Others made the “Denny’s Run.”

Our server was terrific. As you all know, having a terrific server isn’t always the case. She was patient, responsive, had a great memory, and was kind. (She may have been a former Girl Scout, I don’t know.) When asked, she took a great group photo of us.

And when the meal was over and we were done eating, we sat. And we talked. And we sat. And we talked. And we… well, you get the idea. I suspect we were there for another hour or so enjoying the sobremesa time.

It was a Thursday night. There was no pressure for space in the restaurant. Our server was perfectly happy to let us be there and attended to any needs. I sipped my Diet Coke and enjoyed the time.

In some places, times, and cultures, this would be a time for digestifs (aftermeal alcoholic drinks to supposedly help with digestion) and cigars. Of course desserts and coffee can be part of this time for many.

If I wasn’t watching my sugar intake, this would have been a great time for me to have had pie, ice cream, cake, pudding and whatever else they could have rustled up in the kitchen for my sweet tooth. Yes, there would have been time for all of those.

It was a great night of dining. As far as I could tell, we were all happy and glad to have been together. I would like to think that our server got tipped on the high end of the scale from all of us.

I believe that establishing the tradition of sobremesa in our homes is a good goal to have. Studies have shown that family mealtime is an effective way to improve families.

The Utah State University Extension reports:

“What if there was one thing you could do to keep your kids from using drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, improve their behavior and attitude, improve their nutrition, and help them make good grades? Would you do it?…there really is one thing…family mealtime!

I believe that family sobremesa is an important element of that mealtime. It doesn’t have to be long. But it creates the time to “check-in” on each other, find out what’s going on, and strengthen connections.

Enjoy your time around the table Sanpete. And try to remember and practice that new word. (new to me, at least) — Merrill