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How we look at things

By Merrill Ogden - | Jan 29, 2025

I was in a church meeting on Sunday. That happens quite regularly. The four sermons in the meeting were all given by females – one teenager and three adult women. All the talks were well prepared and well delivered. They kept my interest.

One of the women used a quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” The speaker used that idea as a motivation for us to improve our attitudes.

Specifically, if we look at people in a non-judgmental way, and show them love, we’ll find that there is more goodness in people than we ever imagined. Interacting with people in this way, it was taught, is how we make friends and find “the lost sheep.”

I agreed with the points made in the speech. But, of course, I thought to myself that some people seem to almost thrive on being judged – and lost. They seem to enjoy being misunderstood.

Some people want to be seen as their own brand of brat, rebel or troublemaker. There are “sheep” who don’t want to be found. I think some of us want to be considered unique, or at least somewhat different from the crowd.

Mulling this over, I think that non-judgmental kindness is the way to go regardless of who we’re “looking at” and what their attitude might be. The “kill ’em with kindness” philosophy comes to mind.

Thinking about this reminded me of something that happened several years ago when our state Governor, Sanpete’s own Spencer Cox, was governor-elect. Protesters showed up in Sanpete at his house in Fairview. It was during Covid times in November 2020.

Here’s the “tweet” Cox sent out at the time, “Never dreamed I would have protesters at my home in Fairview. But we don’t get many visitors, so if you make the long drive, the least we can do is make you cookies and hot chocolate. I’m glad I got a chance to tell them I love them even if we disagree on masks.”

I thought that was a great strategy to deal with an uncomfortable situation. Fighting fire with fire doesn’t “turn down the heat.”

I have a T-shirt that I got during the Sanpete County Fair parade maybe 15 or 20 years ago. I still wear it – mainly when working in the yard. (This isn’t unusual. I just might have a T-shirt or two from back in the time of the Nixon administration.)

Anyway, the T-shirt I’m talking about is from the Utah National Guard. The wording on the back reads, “It All Starts with Attitude!”

And speaking of parades, here’s a little tip to increase your odds of getting the T-shirts, frisbees and other “good stuff” tossed to you from the floats in a Sanpete parade. It’s a time-tested method.

For example, let’s say a National Guard army truck is parading by with the guard guys on it tossing out a few T-shirts. Don’t yell, “Gimme one! Gimme one!” acting like a crazed beggar. What you do is call out loudly, with both arms raised in a “touchdown signal” pose, “Hoorah for the National Guard!”

Displaying this attitude (remember attitude is everything), you have a great chance of getting recognized and rewarded. Adapt the concept to any float in the parade. (You’re welcome.)

Not right on point, but connected and related to the Dr. Dyer quotation given at the top of this piece, is another quotation that I thought of Sunday in church. It’s the famous Ralph Waldo Emerson quote: “That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our ability to do has increased.”

I learned that concept as a kid on the farm when I was assigned to milk two or three cows by hand. In the beginning, it wasn’t easy. In fact, it was hard, and frustrating.

Over time, it became much easier – obviously, because I got better at it because of the daily, persistent doing of the task. (I got to the point of being able to give a cat a squirt of milk in the mouth from a bit of a distance. Pretty impressive, I’d say. But, that’s just me saying.)

So, I guess the moral of all of this is that I believe we should make attempts to improve our attitudes. Let’s look at the proverbial glass as half-full (of fresh, warm milk), not half-empty.

Even when it seems tough, we can do better in our relationships with our fellow human beings. I’m challenging myself as much as anyone.

As Coach Kara Lawson has said “handle hard better.” If you’re not familiar with her, she’s the women’s basketball coach at Duke University in North Carolina. She had a phenomenal career as a player and is a high powered, motivational coach now.

She preaches that life will never get easier for any of us. We can’t wait around for that to happen. Her signature philosophy is summed up in that motto: “Handle Hard Better.”

This piece has been pretty preachy. Take it for what it’s worth. Remember, this column in The Pyramid arrives in your mailbox free of charge. — Merrill