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Bumper Sticker Wisdom

By Staff | Mar 3, 2021

Some people I know in Sanpete like to go to the St. George area for little vacations during the cold months of the year. The milder weather in St. George is, of course, is the draw. We’ve travelled down there a couple of times this winter to find weather that would suit us for doing some longer bicycle rides without getting frost bite.

I love St. George, especially in the winter. I’m not so fond of the summers down there though.

I don’t know how those original, pioneer settlers did it. The summers there are hotter than blazes. What did those 309 men and their families do to tick Brigham Young off so much that they were sent to settle in such a place?

Years ago, I read a George A. Smith quote in the Deseret News. George was a counselor to Brigham Young, who was president of the LDS Church back in the days when towns were being settled in Utah. President Smith called the St. George area as “the most wretched, barren, god-forsaken country in the world.” It’s ironically funny to know that St. George was named after him.

Think about it. No ice cubes. No Diet Pepsi. No SPF 30 sunscreen. The thoughts of summers there without air conditioning made me remember being in St. George for a wedding in the summer of 1978.

I was in my 1974 Ford Mustang which didn’t have air conditioning. It was so hot that I could scarcely shift gears because the stick shift heated up so much.

Hold everything here. I need to make an abrupt change. I’m totally off my subject. (Refer to the title of this column) I’ve led you astray. This isn’t really a St. George or a hot weather topic column.

The real story here goes back to a favorite, recurrent theme of bumper stickers. I’ve seen a few in my travels lately. And, I’ve been reminded of some others as well.

One I saw in Sanpete recently was on the back of a vehicle which read “Stop, Drop, and Roll Doesn’t Work in Hell.” (That would be appropriate for summers in St. George) Another sticker: “List of Things I Hate: 1. Bumper Stickers 2. Irony 3. Lists.” And: “Free! Airbag Test for Tailgaters.”

Bumper stickers often make me smile. “I Fish, Therefore I Lie” or “Got Brains?”

Sometimes they motivate a chuckle. “Men are Idiots and I Married their King.” “If we Call it Tourist Season, Why Can’t We Shoot Them?”

Other stickers make me laugh out loud. “I’m Marching to a Different Accordion.” “Your Child may be an Honor Student, but You Drive Like an Idiot.”

I see bumper stickers with religious aspects. “Jesus is Coming. Look Busy.” “How Would Jesus Drive?”

Then, of course, there are political stickers. “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Democratic” “Back Off, I’m Allergic to Republicans”

Some women celebrate their gender issues with a bumper sticker. “I Haven’t Been the Same Since that House Fell on my Sister.” “Good Housekeeping is an Exact Science. I’m into Art”

Men have their stickers too. “I Just Got a Gun for my Wife. It’s the Best Trade I Ever Made.” “My Wife says I Never Listen to Her… Or Something Like That.”

There really are many categories of bumper stickers when you think about it. Occasionally a bumper sticker will cause some thought and introspection.

I’ve remembered this sticker from years ago which was on the back of a middle-aged woman’s car down in the St. George area, as I recall.

The sticker read, “I Just Want to Have Some Irrational Exuberance Again.” As I passed her car and looked at her, I fancied that the sticker was a plea for help. She needed help for a life that had been caught up in “rational adult living.”

I thought about signaling her off to the side of the road and telling her that I “understood.” But then that would have been “irrational.”

As it happened, I just sent “positive thoughts” to her that she’d be successful in her quest for “irrational exuberance.” I have confidence that she achieved her goal. After all, “recognition” is the first step and the bumper sticker is evidence that she recognized what she needed in life.

According to my dictionary, one of the definitions of exuberance is: abounding in vitality, extremely joyful and vigorous. Perhaps too many of us have left exuberance behind. I think that this particular bumper sticker message is good for all of us. A little more exuberance, rational or irrational, wouldn’t hurt me or, perhaps, you. — — Merrill

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