Inside Darnell’s Head: Dirty cars, Super Bowls and llama ties
The BYU offensive line prepares to run a play during the Cougar win over North Alabama at LaVell Edwards Stadium in Provo on Saturday, Nov. 21, 2020.
Here’s what’s going on inside Darnell’s head:
I wonder how much the car wash cartel paid the government to mess with the weather satellites to produce the dirty snow on Friday? Those are thoughts that went through my mind while sitting in line for 40 minutes to get a car wash on Saturday.
I blame Trump.
Not a fan
WalletHub sent out a list this week of the top cities in the country for football fans. Provo was 63rd, finishing 31st in pro football and 40th in college football.
The rating came from 21 relevant metrics including number of teams, performance, championships, hall of fame coaches, average ticket prices, fan engagement, number of coaches the past ten years, attendance, stadium capacity and popularity.
Among the worst cities for football fans was St. George at 245th. Since the closest NFL team is in Las Vegas, it must be the Raiders fans that are dragging everybody down.
Savvy and sage
Congrats to new BYU football coaches Kevin Clune and Darrell Funk, who were both hired this week. Between them they have nearly 60 years of coaching experience. It’s interesting to me that Kalani Sitake chose to go for experience instead of younger guys like Ryan Pugh or Eric Mateos, the two previous offensive line coaches.
Clune has a fine group of linebackers to work with in 2021 despite the loss of senior leader Isaiah Kaufusi. BYU played a lot of dudes at linebacker this year so they are returning plenty of experience. There is experience on the offensive line but the loss of starters Brady Christensen, Tristen Hoge and Chandon Herring will definitely be felt.
They have just a couple of weeks before spring football start and will have to hit the ground running.
Tie one on
My daughter Shelby served a church mission to Peru and when she returned she gave me a Peruvian llama tie. It never fails to earn a compliment or two when I wear it to church — which makes me question the choices of the other ties in my rotation that don’t get noticed. Then today, I got a compliment on my tie (a tartan tan, blue and orange number).
So maybe my tie choosing skills haven’t completely eroded.
If I was more concerned with the first batch of wings in my new air fryer than the results of the Super Bowl, do I lose a punch on my man card?
They were great, by the way.
They have next
The NCAA added a November signing day for football so the February date doesn’t have as much fanfare. Still, it was good to see what returned missionaries would be in the mix next season. I’m partial to guys I saw play in high school — not just their highlight videos but actual games. So I’m excited to see what American Fork’s Chase Roberts can do at receiver. Another name to remember is Cade Albright, a 6-foot-5 defensive end who blew up late in his senior year at San Juan High School in Ladera Ranch, Calif.
Things I hate to do
Since I am the one driving most of the time I am the one who usually has to order for the rest of the family at the drive-through. Why is it that the person who is helping us seems to have their IQ drop 50 points when I’m trying to explain what somebody else wants?
While co-hosting Ben Criddle’s radio show last week on ESPN 960 we asked listeners to name their favorite female BYU athlete of all-time. It was National Women and Girls in Sports Day, so it seemed like a pertinent question. We ended up getting a lot more responses than I thought and good ones: Jennifer Hamson, Erin Thorn, Shaylee Gonzales, Shauna Rohboch, Ashley Hatch and Shea Collinsworth were mentioned, among others. I chose former BYU volleyball All-American Amy Boswell Usevitch, who also earned a nursing degree while playing Division I athletics. She was such a pleasure to interview and brought so much energy and leadership to the team on a daily basis.
I also mentioned former BYU soccer goalkeeper Sabrina Davis, who remembered my name the second time I interviewed her.
That’s all I’ve got for now, but for this: I keep getting Post Malone and The Weeknd mixed up, so I’m glad The Weeknd performed at halftime of the Super Bowl so I could get a good look at him. Yeah, I know that one guy has a face full of tattoos and the other doesn’t. I just keep forgetting which one is which.
Maybe somebody can help The Weeknd find the “e” that’s missing from his name. Poor guy.
Have a great week, mask up and treat everyone like they root for your favorite NFL team.