Here’s what’s going on inside Darnell’s head as I try to answer these two questions.

“Is this real life?”

“Is BYU really this bad at football?”

The Cougar program has a long, proud history since LaVell Edwards took over in the early 1970’s but there have been times when results have been less than optimal: The last three Gary Crowton years (2002-04) or 2017, for example.

I asked myself the same questions during those years and pretty much came to the conclusion that BYU was not good at football.

Brilliant deduction, right?

But like the “She’s a witch! Burn her!” scene in Monty Python (“she turned me into a newt”) they got better.

I believe this team and this program will get better.

Stepping up to the Big 12, the Cougars have been fully exposed, and on big-time TV networks. BYU is not ready to compete on a weekly basis in a power conference, and it’s pretty painful to watch.

It’s tough to see this defense, which showed so much promise early, get manhandled every week. The Cougars are down probably five or six starters on that side of the ball, and the depth issues are real. On offense, there are plenty of key injuries as well and no true identity.

I believe that a healthy BYU team would be competing much better with the likes of TCU, Texas, West Virginia and Iowa State and might even win a few of those games. No one can convince me otherwise.

BYU’s last four Big 12 losses have been by a combined score of 161-37 and that’s not fun.

Let me ask you this: Knowing what you know now, would you STILL want BYU to jump at the chance to join the Big 12? Or did you want the program to continue down the road of independence?

It might not always be pretty, and the growing pains will be plentiful. But this is what you signed up for, gang. Buckle up for the long haul.

Now it’s time for Perfectly Rational Overreactions (PRO’s).

PRO No. 1: Jake Retzlaff is not the answer at quarterback for the future.

Retzlaff struggled from the start on Saturday. On the very first offensive play, BYU rolled him out so he could get a clear look at his receivers and he threw it right to a Iowa State defender. Retzlaff had a hard time with his accuracy (10 of 27, 37%) and make some bad decisions on his reads. Still, I think it’s too early to judge him too harshly. I think he has some moxie and will work it out. I spoke to his junior college coach, former San Diego State head man Tom Craft, for a story last week. Craft is convinced Retzlaff can be a standout college quarterback. But Retzlaff needs time and more support from the rest of the offense. Turns out it wasn’t all about Kedon Slovis, was it?

PRO No. 2: Oklahoma might score 100 points on this BYU defense next week.

OK, 100 may be an exaggeration but 50 or 60 is a real possibility. Iowa State was near the bottom of the Big 12 offensive statistics, yet ripped through the Cougars with ease and scored 45. They absolutely owned BYU on the edge all night and executed like you would expect a team to do 10 games into the season. The Sooners run a very fast paced offense. On Saturday, Oklahoma fell behind West Virginia (a team that clobbered BYU) 7-0 early but then ran off 31 points in about 18 minutes of game time, winning 59-20.

With a 10 a.m. start, at least Cougar fans won’t have to wait around all day for a beating. It’ll happen before lunch time.

PRO No. 3: The only thing left to do is break up this coaching staff and this roster and start over.

Disgruntled BYU fans want people canned, all the way from the head coach to the equipment manager. I mean, the Cougars slipped on the turf about a dozen times against Iowa State. They must have been wearing the wrong cleats.

But is blowing everything up really the best solution? The offseason is a time for reflection and evaluation. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if some changes are made. It’s pretty obvious the Cougars aren’t ready to be a contender in this league, but did you really expect that to happen in the first year? It’s easy enough to buy into the optimism the coaches and players float out into the media, but the reality is pretty hard to ignore. This is a process that could take multiple years. Do you really want to be starting over every season? This coaching staff needs to do a better job at just about everything but its biggest challenge might be recruiting its own roster after such a miserable season. There will be plenty of guys who want to jump ship for a better NIL offer or a better roster.

Finally, PRO No. 4: BYU needs to become bowl eligible for the extra practices it would get.

Extra practices are nice, I guess, especially for the younger players. But does anyone really want to extend this season and watch this team in a bowl game? Do we really want to prolong this agony beyond Thanksgiving weekend? Sure, the chances of beating Oklahoma or Oklahoma State are pretty minimal, but the Big 12 has been pretty crazy. Maybe the Cougars could pull off an upset. Maybe finishing the season two days after Thanksgiving is for the best.

Who Carried the Boats and the Logs? (BYU version)

There weren’t a lot of shining stars on Saturday, but I did want to mention safety Crew Wakley (or as the fellas at Pro Football Focus call him on ESPN 960 guest appearances, Crew “Wackley”). He had six tackles, a tackle for loss and a pass break up. I thought he competed hard and was really good in run support. And wacking guys, I guess.

Also, on BYU’s first drive, No. 3 broke loose on a 36-yard run and I was trying to figure out who it was because he was so fast. No. 3 is Aidan Robbins, who finally looks healthy. He showed what he could do if given some space, which this offensive line has not been able to do most of the season.

Slip, trip or fall?

BYU seemed to have a hard time keeping their feet against Iowa State. I counted at least a dozen times the Cougars slipped on the turf and that’s not counting anything that happened away from the ball. Kalani Sitake said he had no idea if BYU players were wearing the wrong cleats and that body positioning (?) might have had something to do with all the slips.

Success or failure

I find it interesting that BYU is elite in many of its athletic programs (women’s soccer, women’s volleyball, cross country) because the emphasis can be on good coaches, a good system and player development. In the sports where the race is on to spend more money and cheat (by stealing signals, for example) like football and men’s basketball, the Cougars have historically struggled.

Not bad, not bad at all

I saw “The Marvels” with my family last week. I felt like it was a good movie with characters I liked and real, human emotions. Was it “The Avengers?” Nope. But it was certainly better than some of the recent movies Marvel has put on screen.

I’m sorry, what?

My daughter, Shelby, is in the BYU marching band and their annual concert, which we attended last week, is billed as the loudest concert on campus.

I can certainly vouch for that.

While chatting with band director Fred McInnis after the concert I told him I played trombone in high school. He asked where, and I told him Oregon. He asked for my band director’s name, and I told him (Larry Graves). McInnis said he knew him, which floored me.

McInnis knows my high school band director from nearly 40 years ago? In rural southern Oregon?

That’s some truly “it’s a small world” interaction.

Impressive

BYU’s 72-65 victory against No. 17 San Diego State on Friday was a big one for Mark Pope and his crew. The Aztecs aren’t the same team that finished as NCAA runner-ups last season but they did return two starters and Brian Dutcher is an excellent coach. What I see so far from the Cougars is a much, much deeper team that can run nine guys (soon to be 10 when Dawson Baker is healthy) out on the floor. That allows Pope to play with the pace he wants on both ends. It’s also nice to see Dallin Hall take over a game. He showed that ability leading Fremont to a state title his senior year and he was terrific in the second half against San Diego State.

That’s all for now, but for this: When you’re a kid, you don’t realize you’re also watching your mom and dad grow up. I feel bad for my kids, because I never have really grown up. So there. Have a great week and remember to enjoy the BYU teams that are winning right now. You’ll be happier.

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