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BYU running back Fui Vakapuna (1) celebrates with fans following BYU's 38-24 victory over Air Force in an NCAA college football game at Air Force Academy, Colo., Saturday, Nov. 15, 2008. (AP Photo/Justin Edmonds)

Justin Edmonds

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Former BYU players including running back Fui Vakapuna (1) pose for a photo before the alumni game at the BYU West Campus in Provo on Friday, March 22, 2024.

Jaren Wilkey, BYU Photo

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Former BYU running back Fui Vakapuna walks onto the field for the alumni game at LaVell Edwards Stadium on March 31, 2022.

Jaren Wilkey, BYU Photo

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Former BYU running back Fui Vakapuna (right) hugs former Cougar quarterback Max Hall before the alumni game at LaVell Edwards Stadium on March 31, 2022.

Jaren Wilkey, BYU Photo

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Former BYU running back Fui Vakapuna walks onto the field for the alumni game at LaVell Edwards Stadium on March 31, 2023.

Nate Edwards, BYU Photo

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BYU running back Fui Vakapuna (1) celebrates after a touchdown over UNLV Saturday, Oct. 25, 2008.

MARIO RUIZ/Daily Herald

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BYU's Fui Vakapuna tries to go over the top of USU's Jon Overton as the Cougars defeat the Aggies in Provo Saturday, September 23, 2006.

JEREMY HARMON/Daily Herald

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It wasn’t surprising to see former BYU star running back Fui Vakapuna at Friday’s annual Cougar alumni game. He participated in the first two events in 2022 and 2023, and is on the BYU staff as a student success and inclusion counselor.

What might not have been expected, however, is the fact that going to the event was one of the first times he left his house in nearly two months and the reason for his convalescence.

For nearly 15 years, Vakapuna — who was on the Cougar football team 2002-03 and 2006-08 before playing football in the NFL — has been dealing with near-constant head issues.

“It started when I was with the with the Bengals,” Vakapuna said. “It was just a little twitching in my eyes and then it got started getting worse. It got to the point of being spasms here and there. Sometimes when it fired, it looked like I was having seizures or a stroke. There was a lot of stuff going on in my head, a lot of knocking, a lot of headaches.”

While he didn’t want to put all of the blame on the violence of playing football, he said he played a game that was “intense” and noted that others have dealt with some of the same symptoms.

“Back in the day they would call this suicide syndrome,” Vakapuna said. “The knocking felt like I was hearing fireworks from a distance and it was happening 24/7. It wouldn’t stop.”

In the last few years as the symptoms got worse, Vakapuna said he felt like he couldn’t handle it any more. He started searching for relief and got help from one of his BYU colleagues.

“Jack Damuni (BYU director of football relations) saw a social media post and gave me hope,” Vakapuna said. “I went to a doctor his wife had gone to because we thought it might be the same condition. It wasn’t, but their doctor referred me to Dr. Peter Maughan.”

After consulting with Maughan, Vakapuna underwent a surgery he said is called “multivesicular decompression.”

“I just have shock absorbers in my head now that just keep me from having headaches,” Vakapuna said. “He gave me that the opportunity and basically fixed me. I feel like he fixed me up. I don’t have those sensations anymore. I don’t have the twitching and the seizure-like symptoms.”

The surgery occurred in late January and Vakapuna didn’t anticipate the rehabilitation would be very difficult.

“I thought I’d be out two or three days and then I’d be ready to rock,” Vakapuna said. “What happened was I forgot how to walk. It took two weeks to finally get four or five steps in.”

The former bruising running back is walking again now, although he did have a cane for stability as he did the coin toss for the alumni game. He said the experience has changed his perspective.

“I just appreciate life,” Vakapuna said. “I have a different perspective now and I’m just feeling humbled. I just want to be around family. This gives me the ability to be up and about but it does drain me at times. I’m just now just barely getting back to the swing of things.”

But he grinned as he talked about his bigger goals.

“The goal is to golf,” Vakapuna said.

He got emotional as he expressed his deep appreciation for how much his wife, Leonne Vakapuna, has done as he dealt with the pain, the surgery and the recovery process.

“she’s been my rock,” Vakapuna said with tears in his eyes. “She’s really holding it down for me and my family. She’s the provider and the nurturer, the caretaker, everything. I feel like she’s done everything. I hope she knows that I love and thank her for everything.

“I don’t know how she does it but I know she does it. She does it with grace and she makes it look easy. I’m now the oldest of the five kids she takes care up and I’ve given her the hardest time, but she’s been there for me through thick and thin.”

He looked at the former players on the field and the crowd in the stands, and said he felt fortunate to be able to be at the alumni game.

“It’s so nice to be out here,” he said. “You can feel the love of Cougar Nation. It’s never ending.”

His message to everyone is to pay attention to their mental health because it’s extremely important.

“Everyone has their demons, right?” Vakapuna said. “But I would say have hope. Ask for help. At least try to ask and reach out. And pray. Get on your knees and have a conversation with a higher power. There’s a higher power out there that I think can help.”

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