Teacher and coach: BYU head coach Kalani Sitake shares messages of hope and faith at devotional
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- BYU head coach Kalani Sitake speaks at a devotional at the Marriott Center in Provo on June 26, 2023.
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- BYU head coach Kalani Sitake talks to his players during spring camp in Provo on Thursday, Feb. 27, 2025.
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- BYU football coach Kalani Sitake addresses the crowd at halftime of a Big 12 men’s basketball game against Cincinnati at the Marriott Center on Saturday, Jan. 25, 2025.
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- BYU football coach Kalani Sitake addresses his team during practice for the Alamo Bowl in San Antonio, Texas, on Thursday, Dec. 26, 2024.
BYU head football coach Kalani Sitake admitted that he hesitated when he was asked to speak at one of the university’s weekly devotionals — until those asking found the right leverage.
“They said, ‘Well, LaVell (Edwards) did it,'” Sitake said with a grin after practice on Tuesday. “I said, ‘OK, if you want me to do it, then just say, LaVell did it and I’m going to do it.’ That’s how they got me to do the ice cream. They said, LaVell has an ice cream flavor, so I was like, fine, I’ll do it then. It’s why I go to the some of the events that are out there, because LaVell started it and was a big part of it.
“I want to do exactly like he did. He did it the right way. I got to play for him so I hope I can do the same thing for others.”
After months of preparation, Tuesday was the day for Sitake to follow in the footsteps of his mentor, taking the stage at the Marriott Center to share some of his thoughts with the BYU student body and other guests.
“I actually really enjoyed it, just preparing for it and kind of reflecting on everything,” Sitake said. “I went through so many different things that I wanted to share, and then had to cut things out to get down to where I was at. It was really cool for me to kind of review things and think about what I wanted to say to the students.”
Sitake got those in attendance laughing as he talked about how he hopes the stairs to the upper campus next to the Richards Building become escalators some day and how the campus police checks the 15-minute parking spots “every 10 minutes.”
But he also opened up and shared some personal stories that made him emotional, including talking about how hard things were when his parents got divorced and he moved around to live with various family members.
Eventually he moved in with his dad and went to Cascade Elementary in Orem, where he went to fourth grade. He said the only thing that brought joy that year was watching the BYU football team make its run to the national championship in 1984.
He related a story about having the team come to visit his school and how one player, Vai Sikahema, saw that Sitake was off by himself. Sikahema came over and talked to the young boy, eventually giving him a hug and telling him everything was going to be fine.
“I felt warm and I felt safe,” Sitake said. “I’ve heard those words, everything’s going to be fine, or everything’s going to be OK, probably 1,000 times before, but this was the first time I actually believed it. That hug fixed something in me that was broken. It was during that hug that I knew I was going to play football for BYU. I wanted be just like that player, Vai Sikahema.
He told another story about how after he played at BYU he finally got a chance to chase his dreams in the NFL. It looked like things were going well as he got ready for his first practice.
“I was the healthiest I had been in a long time ready for my first practice.” Sitake said. “I thanked God for His guidance, and I ended my prayer by saying, ‘Heavenly Father, I trust you. Whatever is best for me, let it happen. I’m ready to do so much good with this gift and this opportunity.'”
The next morning, though, he woke up too sore to continue and had to face the reality that his pro football hopes weren’t going to become a reality.
“A short time later, I was in my hotel room, still in shock, and as reality set in, I started to speak out loud to God,” Sitake said. “I was angry with him. I said things like, ‘Are you kidding me? When I said, I trust you and whatever is best for me. He let it happen. This is not what I meant.’ I was mad.
“This was one of the most frustrating moments of my life. I felt lonely, abandoned and distraught. I was broken again, but all of a sudden, I felt this warmth that was very familiar, much like the same feeling I had as a 9-year-old boy getting hugged by my favorite football player, but this time it felt like a hug from the Savior saying everything was going to be fine. My goal now was to find God’s plan for me. Because if this isn’t it, then there must be something better.”
His message was that he has found peace and growth in trusting in his Heavenly Father, that challenges provide opportunities to grow.
“You’re going to experience adversity and difficult times,” Sitake said. “You’re seeking the divine design set for you. If you get your heart broken, good for you. That means you’re a step closer to finding true love, right? If you’re struggling in school, awesome. That means you’re pushing yourself through some discomfort and learning new skills. If you’re struggling financially, that’s okay. It means you’re learning how to budget, and will be thankful and humble when more compensation arrives.
“God knows good times are ahead. Your highlights are coming.”
Sitake said he felt honored to be able to share his thoughts and ideas with so many at the event.
“I think it was great to be able to show a little bit of vulnerability in who I am,” Sitake said. “I have struggles too, you know. I hope that they can maybe connect with what I had to say. Maybe they’ve had similar things happen to them, and I hope I was even did a good enough job teaching it so that people can apply to their own lives.”
Sitake said that it was a special experience but he was “relieved” that it was over.
“I was so nervous about it, but I was excited for the opportunity,” Sitake said. “That was a lot of fun, though, and I appreciate all the students showing up, with our entire team being there and our entire staff. That was really cool for me to have my family and the team there. It was really, really cool.”
