Jenny Munson is a poet (her collection is titled: “My Poems, My Heart”), a writer, and a recent high school graduate. She will be attending UVU in the fall.

Do you remember who you were before the world told you who to be? When I was a kid, I would pray to the moon. Every night, I knelt by my window, clasped my hands together and stared, through the cherry blossom tree outside my window, at the shining moon. Praying to God didn’t seem as solid or dependable as the moon. I could see the moon, I couldn’t and still can’t see God.

When I say I “still can’t see God,” what I mean is I don’t believe and trust that God will always help me. Admittedly, I’d call that a personal problem. I’m too independent- I almost don’t want the help. However, I end up turning to him when the situation is out of my control. This is why I prayed mostly that I would see my mom and sister soon. You see, my parents split up when I was about five years old and I couldn’t tell you why but my dad gained custody of my brothers and me. My father had the power he needed to hurt my mom and did so by depriving her of us. From a very young age, I saw what hatred was and how it could so easily motivate people. The author John Green, verbalized these feelings better than I could when he said: “You can love someone but you can never love people as much as you can miss them”. After wishing upon the moon, I cried afterwards. I was deeply worried about seeing my female family members again. My stepmother heard me crying one night and yelled out something about stopping. That is when, how and why I learned to cry in silence.

Recently, though, I haven’t been able to cry in silence. This is because I’ve been sobbing. My sister’s unborn baby boy is very sick and will not even make it to full term. No words can help the pain, but sobbing helps. An outlet of emotion is normally better than keeping it bottled in. However, being around people can be so exhausting, because most of them love to take and barely know how to give. Except a rare few, and to these few it is so important to let them know how your feel and why. It’s called communication and will make or break your relationships.

So never forget who you are and if you don’t know, try to recall who you were. I believe the experiences and memories of our childhood help shape who we are today. So hold on to your roots no matter how far you’ve grown from them.Your decisions in life become the basis of your ethics and morals, which will guide your path in life. Or at least, I allow them to guide mine. This world will always affect me but never control me, I am who I make myself to be.