Canary Garden helping families work through grief
Volunteer Kelly Bingham, left, comforts Morgan White, 8, center, as White shares her story of a lost loved one during a coping exercise Monday, Feb. 6, 2012, at Canary Gardens in the Kids on the Move Building in Orem, Utah. The center, which helps attendees - ranging from kids to adults - to express grief in creative ways, was just given a donation of 1,600 dollars by New York Life Insurance. JORDAN STEAD / Daily Herald
Children, ages five to nine, take part in a coping exercise for grief of lost loved ones led by volunteer Kelly Bingham, left, on Monday, Feb. 6, 2012, at Canary Gardens in the Kids on the Move Building in Orem, Utah. The center, which helps attendees - ranging from kids to adults - to express grief in creative ways, was just given a donation of 1,600 dollars by New York Life Insurance. JORDAN STEAD / Daily Herald
Volunteer Kelly Bingham, left, listens to Morgan White, 8, right, as White shares her story of a lost loved one during a coping exercise Monday, Feb. 6, 2012, at Canary Gardens in the Kids on the Move Building in Orem, Utah. The center, which helps attendees - ranging from kids to adults - to express grief in creative ways, was just given a donation of 1,600 dollars by New York Life Insurance. JORDAN STEAD / Daily Herald
Children, ages five to nine, share stories of lost loved ones and engage in coping exercises Monday, Feb. 6, 2012, at Canary Gardens in the Kids on the Move Building in Orem, Utah. The center, which helps attendees - ranging from kids to adults - to express grief in creative ways, was just given a donation of 1,600 dollars by New York Life Insurance. JORDAN STEAD / Daily Herald
OREM — Every Monday night Utah County families gather at Kids on the Move. They come looking for a place to share their grief and talk to others who, like them, have lost a loved one. Children who have lost parents, parents who have lost children or anyone who has lost someone close to them are welcome to attend the meetings.
The meetings are hosted by Canary Garden, a nonprofit family grief support center that runs entirely on donations, grants and volunteers so the activities can be free for families. They got a little help with that Monday night with a $1,600 grant from the New York Life Foundation.
“We are the only peer support group in Utah County that is free of charge,” said Mary Shaw, executive director of Canary Garden. “Finances can be an issue for some of these families and it is our goal to never have to charge.”
After almost 10 years, the model seems to be working.
“This is a very hopeful place,” Shaw said. “You may have family and best friends and good support systems in place and still be frustrated by the responses you get to a loss. Everybody here has had a loss; everybody here is on the same page.”
Families that come to Canary Garden are split up into groups based on age. Children ages 3-5, 6-9, 10-12, 13-18 and adults all participate in their own support groups and grieving activities.
The support groups are run entirely by volunteers.
Lance Boldt started attending Canary Garden five years ago after losing a son to cancer. During his family’s time at Canary Garden, Boldt had another son die from leukemia. Boldt now returns each Monday as a volunteer.
“The program is so suitable to each age,” Boldt said. “It really teaches kids and adults the skills they need to grieve.”
Other volunteers come just to help others who are going through a difficult time.
“It is easy to complain about your day,” UVU student MacKenzie Hadfield said. “Until I stepped out of my box and started working with people who are going through much harder things than a bad hair day, I realized I have so much to be grateful for. I just like giving back and working with people going through a hard time.”
It is up to the volunteers to run the support groups, as there is no set criteria for what should happen in the groups. Hadfield, who works with the teen group, says they will play games in addition to talking about life.
“Some days it is fun and happy,” she said. “Other days we really get into talking about the death and dealing with grief.”
Those who visit Canary Garden week after week say they are grateful to come to a place where everyone understands them.
Fourteen-year-old Brianne Waller lost her dad to leukemia seven months ago.
“It has definitely helped me deal with the grief better,” Waller said. “It is a good experience because everyone here understands what you are going through. I have never been good at expressing my emotions, but here it is easier.”
Shaw says the purpose of Canary Garden is to give families a place to feel safe about their grief.
“There is no manual for this,” Boldt said. “There is no book on how to deal with grief and what symptoms of grief are. This is the only place to learn that what you are going through is normal.”
If you would like to volunteer or know someone in need of a support group log on to www.canarygarden.org to contact the group.
