For many kids, the excitement of Santa and new toys can often overshadow the focus on giving thanks that should prelude the Christmas season, leaving some parents worried about their children not learning the characteristics of being grateful. Prior to offering suggestions on ways to teach children to be grateful, it is important to note that children under the age of 4 can have a harder time learning this skill due to their egocentric nature.

Egocentrism simply means they are unable to fully understand that the people around them have other thoughts, feelings and experiences. They are the king or queen of their own castle, which some parents may fear is selfishness. It is important to know that with positive role-modeling and patience, your children will step out of this stage, generally around the age of 4.

Teaching children gratitude does not have to be complicated. Here are a few suggestions that can be practiced now in preparation for Thanksgiving in a few weeks:

• Say “thank you” often. Making this a part of your daily language and encouraging it from your children can form habits. It often takes at least six weeks for children to learn a new skill, but through consistency and practice, they can learn to add this positive phrase to their vocabulary.
• Read books about gratitude. As taught a few months ago, children learn well when they are able to follow the PBS Learning Triangle by reading, watching, then doing. Introducing the art of thankfulness through books can help children begin to understand the trait itself. Some books may include “Thank You Bear” by Greg Foley, “Llama Llama Gives Thanks” by Anna Dewdney, “If You’re Thankful and You Know It” by Chrissy Bozik and others.
• Take them to volunteer or give-back opportunities, within reason. Ensure that your child is old enough to understand and participate in the giving. Typically during the holiday season Giving Machines are placed throughout the world to give people an opportunity to donate to local or global charities. Organizations like United Way, American Red Cross, UNICEF and hundreds of others are in constant need of generous giving. This is just one great opportunity to show how to give back.
• Make a gratitude jar. Having a physical item in your home to show appreciation can help remind children to look for things in their life to be grateful for. Visiting the jar often and discussing the experiences of thankfulness help bring gratitude to the forefront of the mind, benefitting all involved.

Ultimately your children will learn through your example. Teach them by showing them how to be grateful this Thanksgiving season.

United Way of Utah County is on a mission to help promote literacy and healthy child development. EveryDay Learners has several programs such as HelpMeGrow Utah, Welcome Baby and South Franklin Community Center to support these efforts. Visit us at unitedwayuc.org to learn more about these programs or find any of them on our Instagram pages.