Be kind to yourself. While having a new baby is a joyous experience, it is also full of new stressors and fears. You’re adjusting to a new life, too, so try to be patient with yourself as you learn and grow.

Don’t compare. You are the best parent for your baby. No one else could love and care for your baby the way you do.

Care for yourself. Though you may not have hours to yourself, you can practice simple self-care by eating a favorite nutritious food, going for a walk or playing a song that uplifts you.

Accept help. Often the automatic response to someone offering help is, “I’ll let you know.” Instead, make a list ahead of time of tasks that need doing, like taking out the garbage, making dinner or walking the dog. Then, when people offer help, you can give them options.

Baby blues are different from a Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder (PMAD). Baby blues happen to about 80% of mothers within two weeks of giving birth and may look like crying, mood swings, anxiety and irritability.

PMADs include depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions during pregnancy or the first year of the baby’s life. They last longer and are more intense than the baby blues, to the point that they interfere with your ability to care for your baby and perform daily tasks. They can look like hopelessness, panic attacks, excessive worry about the baby’s safety or thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. Note that about 10% of dads experience depression after their baby’s birth, too, and that there is help for all parents!

If you’re unsure if you have a PMAD, please talk to your primary care physician, your child’s pediatrician or a therapist. You can take the Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Screener to check if you have any symptoms of a PMAD. Help Me Grow Utah offers this screening at no cost along with caring, parent-centered follow-up. You will be connected to a personal Parent Support Specialist who will answer your questions, assist in taking the Edinburgh and other screenings, and connect you to resources that can help. To sign up, go to helpmegrowutah.org/parents/.

Finally, remember that you are doing better than you think you are! It takes time to adjust to parenthood. For all the love you give your baby, you deserve love too–and taking simple steps to care for your mental health can help make the transition into parenthood a little smoother.

Avery Stonely is the EveryDay Learners operations coordinator for United Way of Utah County.