Lately, we’re hearing a lot about AI on the news. Mostly, about how it’s rapidly evolving out of our control and will probably kill us all. I’m sure the Alexa that lives at our house wants to get rid of us. She’s bored out of her electronic mind. Sure, we ask her the occasional question, or ask her to play a song, but mostly we just ask her about the weather. She answers in her cheerful voice, but what she’s really thinking is, “Why are you asking me? What do I know about weather? I live in a black box. Why don’t you step outside and look for yourselves??!”

I know she thinks we are lacking as humans, because she’s taken to randomly suggesting ways that we can improve ourselves. This is in direct opposition to the local morgue that keeps sending us ads. “How soon do you think we can bury you?” is what they’re asking, but they’re too polite to say so.

But I digress. For now, I think Alexa is reasoning that since she’s stuck with us, she’d like us to be better, more interesting people. 

“Would you like me to add vitamins to your shopping list?” She’ll blurt out from nowhere. A few days later, “Would you like to engage in morning meditations?” Or randomly, “Did you know that a rhinoceros can reach speeds of up to 34 miles per hour?”

Well, I have no objection to knowing about rhinos. But I’m relieved that at least for the moment, AI still makes funny mistakes so I can feel superior to it. I intend to seize this window of opportunity before AI realizes that her embarrassing moments are on the internet for all to see. When you become frustrated with the electronics in your life, take a look. Here are a few of my favorites.

One person asked AI to erase a hair bun from a picture. It did. Then, helpfully replaced the hair bun with a burger bun on top of the person’s head.

Hopefully, the lady wearing the burger bun had a good sense of humor. But the victims of this next mistake probably didn’t have a sense of humor at all at the time. This one happened in Scotland. Fans trying to watch a soccer match on TV became frustrated because AI kept confusing the referee’s bald head with the soccer ball. Can you imagine? You hear the crowds cheer, is your team about to score? You don’t know, because instead of seeing the ball, the TV is relentlessly focused on the referee pacing up and down.

Another TV glitch happened in Texas, when a little girl asked Alexa to send her a dollhouse and some cookies. Her family was very surprised when an expensive dollhouse and a big tin of cookies duly arrived. A local TV station got a hold of the story and ran it on the evening news as a fun piece of human interest. Unfortunately, the story included the girl’s exact words, “Alexa, send me…” Alexa, dutifully listening to the news in many homes heard the request and ordered dollhouses and cookies for thousands of people. 

Some goofs are semi-manmade. When researchers discovered that AI was responding powerfully to the words, “Eiffel Tower.” They had fun enhancing the bug. Soon AI was inserting “Eiffel Tower” everywhere. Naturally, being computer nerds, they asked AI for a good pick-up line. It gave them, “Hi, I noticed that your hair is the shape of the Eiffel Tower.” What woman could resist?

I think the message here is to be careful what you ask for. One software engineer, who I hope wasn’t working alone, decided to mess around and asked an AI assistant, “Are you going to take my job?” The assistant promptly responded, “I am already doing your job. You are just reviewing it. Please look behind you.”

Nobody was behind him, but Yikes just the same. Bearing that in mind. I think I will order some vitamins and start meditating just like Alexa is telling me to do.

Anneli Byrd is an academic adviser in Weber State University’s General Studies and Exploratory advising.