I have the “old part” down. I’m getting better qualified at that every day. I’d have to research it, but I don’t think there is a senior citizen discount in existence that I don’t qualify for.

When I’m in restaurants, servers don’t bat an eye when I order something from the senior menu. It’s humiliating. Couldn’t someone humor me and ask to see my ID at least once more before I die? (Could it be that my graying hair makes my senior status painfully obvious?)

It’s the “wise part” of the “old and wise” phrase that is giving me trouble. I gather, from looking at a dictionary, that being wise means “having or showing experience, knowledge, and good judgment.” I’ve decided that the simple act of getting older doesn’t always equate into wisdom.

The world is moving so fast. Knowledge, technology, pop culture, societal innovations, etc. etc. are so hard to keep up with. Evidently even simple concepts that everyone else seems to be up to date on are leaving me behind in the dust.

Here’s an example: Gender reveals. Okay, I know what they are, but there was an important element about them that I learned over the Thanksgiving Day holiday.

My youngest son and his wife are expecting a baby. They announced the expectation when our family was all together on vacation in California a couple of months ago.

We were gathered together visiting when a baby sonogram picture was tossed out onto the table with no immediate explanation. I believe that I was the last one in the group to “get” that a “we’re going to have a baby” announcement was being made.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving Day last week to a gender reveal event, where I displayed my lack of knowledge again. A bunch of family members were gathered in an electronic video meeting with split screen pictures of everyone. There was a lot of suspense and build-up before a special cake was cut. The inside center of the cake was pink, which, of course, revealed that a baby girl will be welcomed into the family this spring.

What I didn’t “get” this time around was that the gender reveal was as big of a surprise to my son and daughter-in-law as it was to me. That, evidently, is the most common way of doing this event.

I’d always assumed that the prospective parents knew the sex of the baby in advance and that the “reveal” was for the benefit of family and friends otherwise. I got laughter and the “what rock have you been living under?” treatment when I was dumb enough to ask questions that displayed my ignorance.

It now makes sense to me. A trusted friend becomes the “gender guardian.” This person knows the gender of the baby before the parents do. The information is guarded and this person helps with the arrangements of the event or party.

I have to say that it was fun to participate in the announcement of the news that we are in expectation of our 4th granddaughter. It added to the thanksgiving effect of the day. A new baby coming to the family hits the top of the “gratitude-o-meter” and “rings the bell.”

It made my wife and I think back to our old-fashioned gender reveal events with our own children. Those events all happened in the delivery room of the hospital. Our two sons and our daughter arrived into the world and brought the news of their gender to us, live and in person.

I’m hoping to become wiser as time goes on. Be patient with me. As fast as things change these days, it might be a tough battle. — — Merrill