Granite, it’s not for eVeRyBoDy (blech). Irregardless, prolly for MOST peeps it’s the rill dill and it’s hotter than SALTSA!!!!

It's called Seriously So Blessed seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com, a fictitious blog about the ups and medium-ups of a Utah newlywed who sees herself and her life as nothing short of ideal, or rather, idill. Her name is Tiffany/Amber/Megan/Nicole, or TAMN for short, a composite name that's fitting, considering her persona is itself a composite -- all the stereotypes and cultural quirks of the quintessential modern Mormon mommy rolled into one comically self-absorbed and self-righteous "sassy hottie."

TAMN is a highlight-blonde Mormon gal who's pregnant with twins, or "preggo with feti," as she gushes, and went to hair school/taught second grade before she married Jordan/Jason/Wes/Taylor, or JJWT, who is going to law/dental/business/medical school.

"I hate competitiveness which makes my heart hurt, but I know I'm supposed to let my lite shine and being the best is seriously a talent I've been blessed with so how do I make sure MINE IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSES???" fussed TAMN in an entry about neighborhood gift-giving.

An anonymous Utah woman ghostwrites the blog, which began as a private joke in June of 2008 and has since snowballed into an Internet sensation, averaging 6,000 hits per day for a whopping 1.3 million total hits since its inception.

"I kept thinking -- this can't last, this can't last," the mystery blogger said in a phone interview. "Most people love it, some people are totally offended, and some people are just confused. I take it as the highest compliment when people think it's a real blog."

Yet TAMN's creator still won't show her cards, not even to some of her close friends, revealing only that she's a 26-year-old new mother, a former missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and in her final year of graduate school.

She certainly seems to have firsthand knowledge of the goofier aspects of LDS culture, but possesses finesse enough to keep some incisive teeth in her satirical chomp without coming across as bitter or mean-spirited as she lampoons the public diaries of the "Mormon princess subculture," as she labels it.

"It can be tempting as a blogger to only tell the happy stories or to describe every spouse, child, vacation, party or turkey sandwich as the best ever in the history of the world," said Tiffany Beveridge, a 32-year-old copywriter and TAMN fan living in Pennsylvania.

Such are the na̯ve ramblings of TAMN, who loves Caf̩ Rio, Diet Coke and Settlers of Catan, pronounces "prompting" and "kept" as "prompteen" and "kepp," and when she's not taking her Young Women's class under her wing at her LDS ward, she's playing bridge with the girls, enjoying Stampin' Up! crafts, or road-tripping to "Lake Pal."

"We all know at least one TAMN, maybe dozens of her, so these attributes are pretty easy to spot," the real-life TAMN wrote in an e-mail interview. "It taps into the zeitgeist. Personal blogs are funny in general, but young Mormon newlywed blogs are an absolute goldmine -- all these goofy, gushy little details exhibited so publicly ... everyone seems to have a sister-in-law just like TAMN."

Sometimes TAMN spouts advice for her "spinsty sisterz":

"TEXT IN CHURCH. This will make you look even cuter and way less boring ... if you can do this with tonz of gum, EVEN CUTER!"

Or coaches the recently betrothed:

"A ring is basicly a 'get out of regular life free' card so take time off to plan your wedding for all intensive purposes."

As opposed to a genuine newlywed blog, which might only be reluctantly perused by polite relatives, TAMN's chronicles serve as a hub of sorts for the blogging community. Each post inspires an average of 50 reader comments, sometimes in the hundreds.

"For some readers, the comments give them a chance to show off their own quick comebacks and irreverent observations," said Ramona Samuels, a mother of three and TAMN follower from Spanish Fork.

The robust reader feedback has provided TAMN with a chance to take a break from the vapidity and translate her make-believe life into real-life blessings for her fans. In August of 2008, TAMN began occasional gift giveaways and started placing advertisements on her blog's sidebar. She announced a special contest in January, which she called, "Like 'What Not to Wear' But Righteouser!" wherein readers could nominate people, either themselves or their friends, who deserved a makeover. The contest was loosely patterned after the hit TLC makeover show "What Not to Wear."

Thomas Arts, a Utah advertising agency, approached Shade Clothing about the contest with the idea that TAMN's target audience was a good match for Shade's clientele. The makeover prize soon sweetened as other sponsors joined.

From a pool of 550 nominees and more 10,000 online votes, Emily Gourley from American Fork won readers' hearts, having recently had two children die in infancy just barely a year apart.

"It was fantastic to be able to give back in a way and participate to help create a fun day for Emily," said Shannon Winzeler, Shade Clothing's director of marketing.¬ 

To "help her feel good again (more human)" as Emily wrote in her own nomination, TAMN gave Emily a few outfits from Shade Clothing, a haircut and makeup by Christie Somers, a dress from Shabby Apple, a getaway at the Best Western Cotton Tree Inn, courtesy of the Utah Valley Convention and Visitor's Bureau, photos by Blue Lily Photography, dinner at Café Rio and jewelry from The Pretty Kitty.

"I felt a bit like a fairy godmother and/or Oprah," the real-life TAMN said.

If you click

Seriously So Blessed

www.seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com

A satirical blog about a fictitious LDS newlywed who's a perfect caricature of the stereotypical Mormon mommy blogger.

You'll find:

-- Three to four new blog posts per week

-- Archived previous posts

-- An online store with SSB merchandise

-- Contests and giveaways